Godzilla vs The 50 Foot Woman
by ben1981
Summary: Godzilla terrorizes a small hick town in Alabama, but he will soon meet his match.
1. Chapter 1: Big Experiment

Godzilla vs. The 50 Foot Woman

written

by

Ben Wasden

Disclaimer: I do not own rights to Godzilla or any of the Godzilla movies!

Chapter One: Big Experiment

It was a warm day in May in the town of Trashville, Alabama. Nancy Frankenfart entered her father's lab to find him working on some new experiment involving some green liquid.

Nancy was an attractive young woman with long brown hair and a slim build. She attended school at Trashville Community College. Her classes were done for the day, so she came to her father's lab to see what he was up to. Her father's name was Dr. Henry Frankenfart.

"Hello, Father," Nancy said, inches from where her father stood.

"Why, hello Nancy. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be in school getting your education which I payed for?" Henry asked, while tinkering with his experiment.

"Well, I should be, but my Psychology 101 professor got explosive diarrhea in the middle of teaching. So the class ended early," Nancy explained.

"I see. Explosive diarrhea can be a messy, messy thing," Henry said.

"Yes. What are you doing, anyway?" Nancy asked, watching her father as he worked.

"I am doing the hokey pokey. What does it look like I'm doing? I'm working on my latest experiment. And it shall the biggest one yet," Henry said.

"What kind of experiment is it?" Nancy asked curiously.

"I have created a formula that I think can make living things bigger," Henry replied.

"And just what is the point of that?" Nancy asked.

"I'm glad you asked that, my dear sweet daughter. Big is big right now. Whoever says that bigger isn't better is blowing smoke out of their anus. That's why I have concocted this formula. And if it is a success, I think it will be bigger than viagra and boobie implants," Henry said, smiling.

"I still don't get it," Nancy said, a confused look on her face.

"I used to get it every night, but then your mother had to run off with a male half her age," Henry said.

"I'm not talking about sex, Father. I'm talking about your experiment," Nancy said.

"Oh, yes. Of course. Well, suppose if someone is very short and is unhappy about it. If my formula is successful, then drinking it should change that. It's that simple," Henry said.

"I see. And how are you going to know if the formula works?" Nancy asked.

"Well, of course I'll need a guinea pig," Henry said.

"And just who will you be using as your guinea pig?" Nancy asked.

"Not who, but what," Henry said.

Henry walked over to a large cage, followed by Nancy. She didn't see anything in the cage at first, but then she could see a small green lizard in the middle of the cage.

"That's going to be your guinea pig?" Nancy asked, turning and looking at her father.

"Yes. I call him Godzilla," Henry said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Godzilla? Like in the movies?" Nancy asked.

"Yes, just like in the movies," Henry said.

"But he's so little," Nancy said.

"He is now, but if my formula works he will grow much bigger," Henry said, before laughing diabolically.


	2. Chapter 2: It's Growing

Chapter Two: It's Growing!

"I'll be right back," Henry said, before storming off.

Nancy stood watching the lizard in the cage, while her father was gone. Soon after, her father returned holding a bottle containing a green formula.

"What are you going to do with that?" Nancy asked.

"I'm going to pour it into Godzilla's cage, and hopefully the little bugger will drink it," Henry said.

Henry stood close to the cage. He knelt down and began pouring the formula into an opening in the cage. When he had poured all of the formula into the cage, Henry stood up.

Both he and Nancy watched as the lizard slid across the bottom of the cage and began lapping up the formula.

"He's drinking it," Henry said excitedly.

"I see that. Look, don't be disappointed if it doesn't have the results that you hope it will," Nancy said.

"Oh, it will have the results I want it to, or my name isn't Dr. Henry Frankenfart!" Henry exclaimed.

Henry and Nancy shifted their attention back to the lizard in the cage. They both noticed that the lizard had drank all of the formula.

"Godzilla is done drinking. Now we wait to see what happens next," Henry said.

"Well, this should be entertaining," Nancy said sarcastically.

"Oh, hush now. If you want entertainment, you go a movie theater. This is science," Henry chimed.

"Whatever," Nancy said, rolling her eyes.

Henry and Nancy stood there for minutes watching the lizard, but nothing happened. Nancy yawned and then turned to her father.

"I think I'm going to go. This is going nowhere, and I have an appointment for a bikini wax in a half hour," Nancy said.

"Oh, you modern women and your bikini waxes. Why don't you all just go natural like they did in the 70's?" Henry asked.

Then just as Nancy started to walk off, there was a disturbance coming from within the lizard's cage. Henry and Nancy looked at the cage, and saw that the lizard was twitching. Then the lizard noticeably started to get bigger, right before their eyes.

"It's working. The formula is working. It's bigger! It's bigger!" Henry said, while dancing around the room.

"Well, I'll be. One of your experiments finally worked," Nancy said, staring at Godzilla who now looked to be about four feet tall.

The lizard was standing up like a man. He was peering out of the cage, gazing at Nancy and Henry. Henry walked toward the cage to get a better look.

"Father, don't," Nancy shouted.

"Don't worry, Nancy. He is harmless," Henry said.

Henry reached into an opening in the cage and began caressing Godzilla. Godzilla responded by smiling.

"This is unbelievable," Nancy said, shaking her head.

"This is going to make us rich. And my formula will make short guys tall, and they will finally get girls," Henry said.

"Just when I think your career is deader than Lindsay Lohan's career, you turn around and do this," Nancy said, smiling proudly at her father.

"And who might Lindsay Lohan be?" Henry asked.

"My point exactly," Nancy replied.

"And now it's time to try out my other formula," Henry said.

"What other formula?" Nancy asked.

"The other formula that will change our lives," Henry said.

At that moment, Henry had no idea just how right that statement was.


End file.
